每天用英文写点东西Day3：Ella给我上的人生课(2)

topic2: how to socialize as an introvert.

As a closeted introvert, Ella said she was surprised to be described as a sociable, outgoing person. Although she is really good at mingling with others at party now, she still has her social energy decreased when socializing with others for a long time. But the change, Ella said, was the result from her shift of mindset that she would not care about how other think of her since she realized everyone is so self-absorbing and no one is really judging her.

"Let other impressed you. Try to genuinely feel impressed and surprised." Maybe we don't always need to be the topic creator in every conversation. Just sit down and listen to others' story, Ella said, let them entertain you and give your full attention to the speakers can bring out the best in you.

Change your intension. It's normal to feel nervous when you try to impress a person at the first meeting. When we don't have tangible tips tell us how to cope with this kind of situations, it's impossible to get out of our own head. Socializing has to be about the process. Ella's tip is to change your focus from the result back to the process of conversation. "...be detached to the result and let the conversation flows on its own, and use it as a practice even this conversation goes nowhere." It's not desperate to have to prepare a topic for each conversation you have with others. Everything needs practice, so as the chatting skills. Even when it turns sour, we can still learn something from it. If we don't practice, it's hard to bring out the best of ourselves when we truly want to impress others.

Life is so short that we barely have time to care about other's business. It may sounds selfish, but we only have one lifetime to try all these new things in the world. For Ella, she was rather risk being embarrassed, being rejected, feeling like a fool, going back to work on skills at conversation than having regrets why she didn't act early to do such thing.